It is wearing you out, and all methods that we use are adding more and more to that, unfortunately. All techniques and systems are adding to that. There is nothing you can do to end thinking.
Your inner voice is a distortion, kill it. Eliminate all the comforts, nets and cushions in your life, that you have conditioned yourself to snuggle into and lose vitality and wakefulness. Take away anything and everything that makes you cling and dulls your edge. No movies, No music, No YouTube, No phone, No TV. NO internet. No candy, No cookies, No chocolate, No sweets. No sex. No masturbating, No cuddling, No Petting. No going on walks. No reading. No distractions of any kind at all while you eat or sit on the toilet. Reduce working time to a bare necessary minimum. No shows. No conversation that isn’t about desires.
If you do this for a few weeks and/or months, you will begin to cut through your armor, trough your unique habits clinging and of dullness. Only and only then your life will be stripped of routine distraction and mechanical reactions. All that will be left there, will be the fire, core and edge you have been avoiding by all costs and any means. You will have to face yourself, your misery and the basic discomfort and dissatisfaction that is the hidden texture of your life. You will be alive burning with the challenge of living your truth, rather than hiding from it.
Unadorned suffering, depression and misery are perversions. Only by confronting yourself and staying closely intimate to your personal suffering, can you feel through it to its source. By putting all your attention into internet, work, TV, sex, and reading, your armor and suffering remain unpenetrated, and the source remains hidden. Your life becomes structured entirely by your coping mechanism and you favorite means of sidestepping the reality of the suffering you rarely allow yourself to feel. And when you do touch the surface of your suffering, perhaps in the form of boredom, you quickly pick up your phone.
Instead, unite and feel your suffering, rest with it, embrace it, make love with it. Embody it. Feel your suffering so deeply and thoroughly that you penetrate it, and realize its fearful foundation. Everything you do, you do because you are afraid to end and die. And yet ending and dying is exactly what you are doing, from the moment you are born. Two hours of internet may distract you temporarily, but the fact remains. You were born as a sacrifice. And you can either participate in the sacrifice, stripping you of everything you hold dear and dissolving in the giving of your gift, or you can resist it, which is your suffering.
Resistance = suffering, you suffer because you resist, to die.
By stripping, dissolving and eliminating all the safety net of comforts in your life, you have the chance and opportunity to free fall in this moment between birth and death, right through the hole of your ultimate fear, into the unlimited possibilities and unthreatenable openness which is the source of your true natural state. The natural man lives in a state of awe and wonder, with a fierce fire burning inside and outside, always acting without looking back nor forward.
Inside you resides a vast archive of humanity’s knowledge, feelings, experiences, trials and tribulations. To truly become an individual, you must ignite a big ass fire within yourself and burn the shit out of this archive. There exists no alternative path to achieving genuine individuality.